You Know What We Should Do? Make Raymi The Best Blogger In Toronto Is What!

I don't think that I've mentioned this, but my template is all fucked up and I can't add new people to my blogroll. I'm sure that I could fix this, but I'm very lazy and drunk a good deal of the time. So if you see that you're not there, please don't think that it's because I don't love you. It's because I'm an inebriated layabout. Honest.

For example, I'd love to link Raymi the Minx. She's really cute, has a beautiful body and posts topless photos of herself pretty regularly. I've been saying for seven and a half years now that there aren't nearly enough bloggers willing to show me their tits. And I say that having slept with my share of bloggers. I've slept with your share, too.

My girlfriend is probably awfully tired about hearing how much I love Raymi and the things that I would sell my soul to do to her. I know this because she's almost relentless in pointing out that I have no soul. But the things that I would do to her must be wrong, if only because they would feel so right.

So I won't go into it. Out of respect for my girlfriend. Because I love her, and stuff.

But I want to help Raymi in any way that I can, mostly because I like seeing really cute girls getting topless. If they get bottomless, I want to help them even more. I know, I'm a saint!

And that's where you come in.

You see, Toronto has a free weekly newspaper called Now. Now is currently running one of those dopey "Best of Toronto" polls, which just happens to include a "Best Blog" category. I'd submit my own idiotic blog, but nobody reads me and I don't look half as fantastic naked as Raymi does. Friggin' penis.

Besides, Raymi really wants to win and I don't. When I get really popular, I get ugly e-mails from the lawyers of lobbyists that describe me as "malicious and hateful" without understanding that those are my most adorable qualities. I'm just not hungry enough to get more of those e-mails.

This is as campaign season. Yesterday I asked the people of Toronto to make Sarah Thomson mayor and I'm pretty sure that she won't get naked for us, or anything. Now I'm asking my international readership to make Raymi the Minx Toronto's best blogger. It might be the most important vote that you ever cast.

Okay, it might be the most important one to me. You see, she's holding an anniversary party, and I'd really like free tickets and perhaps feel her up. That means that you have to make me look good, teenagers. Just don't tell my girlfriend.

What I need you to do is go here, click on the "vote" button in the "Best Blog" category, and type in raymitheminx.com.

Thanks. You're a pal.