Lori Douglas Is The Best Judge of All

I spent a recent morning in a Toronto courtroom, just because I used to have a job that required my presence there from time to time, and there were no fewer than three defendants that I fantasized about tying up and stuffing their faces full of my putz. One of them went with the Amy Winehouse motif, but she might have been the most naturally gorgeous woman I've ever seen. It was a thrilling way to spend a day and one that I heartily recommend to you all.

One of the people that I didn't fantasize about tying up and stuffing his face full of my putz was the judge. That was mostly because he was a cantankerous old bastard, insisting that he hear the facts of the cases that he was ruling on, much to the chagrin of the Crown, who was clearly unprepared for that.

There was, however, an assistant Crown that I thought about binding and violating, but I'm in a committed relationship, so it sucks to be me. I've been repeatedly told that it's improper to viciously beat off to women other than those that you're already in love with, especially in a Court of Law. Seriously, who knew?

Recent news reports, however, have changed my way of thinking. Out there on the edge of community sexual mores, by which I mean Manitoba, there's a judge who knows about all of life's wonders.

Sexually explicit photos of a Manitoba judge were posted on an Internet porn site by her husband, CBC News reported Tuesday.

The pictures of Lori Douglas, associate chief justice of the province’s Court of Queen’s Bench (family division), are part of a complaint filed last month with the Canadian Judicial Council by a former client of Douglas’s lawyer husband, Jack King.

Alexander Chapman alleges King repeatedly invited him to have sex with Douglas, who was then a lawyer at King’s firm, while King was handling Chapman’s divorce case in 2003.

According to the network, Chapman said King showed him about 30 sexually explicit photos of Douglas.

King’s lawyer, Bill Gange, told CBC that King didn’t tell Douglas he had shown the photos to anyone or that he had posted the pictures online.

Gange said King was suffering from depression at the time.

I can't see what Mr. King was all that sad about. He seems to be having a pretty good life and a great wife. Maybe some folks are crazy just for the sake of it.

Chapman filed a complaint with the firm after his divorce was settled in 2003, after which King left the law firm, the network said. He said he received a $25,000 cash payment from King in 2003 and promised not to take legal action against King and his partners.

Terms of the deal with King prohibited Chapman from talking about the matter and required him to destroy photographs, emails and other material he received from King. Chapman said he signed the agreement, but held on to the items.

Chapman told CBC he broke his silence this year because he feared the incident might influence court cases in which he’s involved in Manitoba’s family court, of which Douglas is associate chief justice.

Chapman, a black man originally from Trinidad, told CBC he intends to sue both King and Douglas for sexual harassment and discrimination.

He said King prodded him to view a website devoted to interracial sex, with a focus on sex between black men and white women.

In a letter this month to the Manitoba Law Society, King conceded he met and discussed sex with Chapman, but only after Chapman obtained his divorce in April 2003. He claimed Chapman often initiated the conversations.

It turns out that you can't go back even if you only try to go black. The allure, as anyone who has ever seen Mandingo or been Strom Thurmond can tell you, is irresistible. That's why I resolved as an infant never to share a bed with a black man. Black women are an entirely different story, however. If you know one who likes bald-headed, pencil-dicked white bloggers, please send her my e-mail address. I'll explain it to my girlfriend later.

Sadly, silly questions about ethics have entered the story. That can never end well. Or can it?

Allegations that nude photographs of a senior Manitoba judge in bondage, chains and performing oral sex were posted on an Internet porn site have kindled debate about how much of a judge’s private life is private.

The Canadian Judicial Council’s Ethical Principles for Judges — which judges are encouraged but not required to follow — say they should strive to conduct themselves with integrity and avoid conduct that would diminish public respect for the judiciary.

Can someone who poses naked with a whip be considered a person of integrity, or does the question open the door to inappropriate moral judgments about an individual’s personal life?

You know, I just think that's insulting, not just to women, but to the judiciary as a whole. How can someone who has ever tasted the lash of justice be reasonably expected to fairly administer it to others? Being before the bench is often a humiliating experience. Should the person sitting sitting astride it have been photographed with a a giant dong in her gullet just once, if for no other reason than empathy?

All of the women I've respected most have been photographed with a cock in their mouths, specifically mine. One was heroic enough to be recorded licking my asshole with my belt around her neck for nearly half an hour, which I'll treasure for the rest of my life, even though she turned out to be a duplicitous cunt. But I'll always regard her as an American hero. The sight of that black hair bobbing up and down between my legs is something that I'll never forget or stop appreciating.

If I would fault anyone in this story, it would be Alexander Chapman for being a loudmouth about the woman that he didn't fuck. Who on God's Green Earth actually does that?

As for Judge Lori Davis, I think that she should be immediately elevated to the Supreme Court of Canada.


Special thanks to The Tiger On Politics.