Is Tila Tequila a "Cheap Saigon Whore?"

Celebslam was befuddled earlier this week when Tila Tequila was spotted driving a Lamborghini, although the author was reminded - and non-plussed - about how "cheap Saigon whores catch all the breaks in life!" It was as a great turn of phrase and one that I wish that I had written.

Ms. Tequila is expressing her outrage on her dopey blog by calling Celebslam a "fucktard." Her followers, the self-declared "Tila Army", are responding predictably. Those bitches are largely unhinged, as anyone who has seen them on Twitter already knows.

The nasty grams that Celebslam has received are hilarious. Somehow they think that point out Tila's hometown is somehow racist, which would be like saying that everyone referring to me as Toronto's Best Hung Man is racist. It's just silly. Although few of them have much of a problem with the "whore" part.

But is Celebslam's assertion accurate? Not about cheap Saigon whores having all the luck. That's already been scientifically proven. But is Tila Tequila one of them?

Well, we already know that she's Vietnamese, so that's been established. Her constantly parading around the streets of Hollywood in nothing but bra and panties would suggest the whore-like characteristics are prominent. And like every cheap Saigon whore that I've seen in the movies, she certainly has a kickass little body that I would like to hold like a bowling ball. I've always wanted a psychotic Asian spinner, but I've been thwarted every step of the way, which explains my atheism as much as anything.

But does she have sex for money? That's slightly more problematic. She did do two seasons of a television show where she gave her body away to the winner, for which the good folks at Viacom gave her enough money to buy a Lamborghini. That's suggestive of something, too.

However, I don't believe that she sucks cock in alleyways for money. I think that she does it for fun. At least I hope so. And I hope that someday one of them will be mine.

Oh, who am I kidding? There is no god.


*On anoter note, I'mma be away for a bit, so there might not be any posts before Sunday evening or afternoon. Have a week!