Global Medical Relief Fund Drive Update

Hey, folks.

I just wanted to update you on what's happening with my pledge drive for the Global Medical Relief Fund that I started here on Monday morning.

When I announced this, my Google Ads kitty was just shy of 20 bucks, which had taken me over two weeks to build up since the ads first went up. You guys have doubled that in four days! You rawk!

If you keep it up at this rate, I should break $100 by about the second week of April. From what I understand, Google calculates what you make at the end of the month and cuts you cheque, that you get in the mail at the end of the next month. I originally said that I would give the first hundred to Global Medical Relief. But I didn't think that you guys would be as cool as you've turned out to be. Therefore, whatever that first cheque turns out to be will go to them.

But it occurred to me that none of you actually have a reason to trust me, do you? And that's important, if only because when I think that something is important enough to turn over some of your hard-earned money to, I need to earn some credibility. For that to happen, I need to prove that the cheque is going where I say it is.

So here's what I'm proposing. I'll let you all know when I get the cheque from Google Ads and let you know how much it's for. Within five days business days of that, we'll meet in a bar somewhere in Downtown Toronto, where you can watch me endorse the cheque and put it in the mail. If any of you knows a place that wouldn't mind hosting a get-together for charity and is willing to set it up, let me know and I'll announce it here.  And if you want to bring along a cheque or money order to be stuffed in the envelope with mine, you'll be extra welcome.

I want it to be an apolitical night, and one where personal differences can be put aside. Even if you think that I'm the worst human being alive - or if I think that you are - if you're willing to bring a cheque of your own to the Global Medical Relief Fund, I'll welcome you and shake your hand. All I ask is that everyone be civil to another for one night. And please don't use it as an occasion to serve subpoenas or libel notices on one another, or more importantly, me. Being an asshole not only will ruin the night, it'll kill the possibility that this little community can do something for their fellow man ever again, and I think that we can.

Now there's something that you need to know about me. I'm really uncomfortable meeting new people, especially new people who know about this dopey goddamned blog. I either feel that I have to live it down or live up to it. Every time I've been in a position to meet readers, I've dreaded it, even though it usually turns out to be a lot of fun. I'll detest every minute leading up to it, knowing that you'll all be there to watch me hate myself in public. And that's going to be a giant pain in the ass for me, something that even none of my girlfriends has ever understood.

Having said that, I feel strongly about this, and about maybe doing something like it for other charities in the future, so I'm willing to do it. So should you. At a minimum, all you have to do is click an ad, for God's sakes.

I need to point again that Global Medical Relief Fund is an American charity, even though it primarily serves non-American child victims of war or natural disasters. If you're not a U.S citizen, you probably cannot claim your donation on your taxes. I want to be really clear about that. If it makes you feel any better, I've never claimed a charitable donation on my taxes.

I'm not gonna lie to you. There are lots of reasons not to participate in this. You can't claim it on your taxes, and the best thing that happens is that you get stuck in a room with an anti-social asshole like me for a few hours. Oh, and you'll be buying my friggin' drinks, too. Remember, I don't have a pot to piss in and I certainly can't afford a night on the town. If I was even halfway smart, I'd keep the money for myself.

But you know what? This is important. I feel strongly about this. There's a woman in Staten Island who has devoted her life to rebuilding the faces and limbs of kids who haven't done anything to anyone. Please don't tell me that you can't at least click a goddamned ad to help them.

And there will be as many witnesses as care to be there to know that I'm not screwing you out of your ad-click. And I'd sooner lose one of my own limbs than meet a roomful of strangers. So please help Elissa Montanti. If you're not going to be in Toronto this spring, you can still donate here.

If other local bloggers want to co-sponsor and/or co-host this with me, I'd be more than happy to accept the help. And if a much bigger blogger wants to take it over, feel free. I would definately prefer that this wasn't about me.


Update: Wowee, we're up fifteen bucks in the last two hours. Not bad at all. you guys are impressing me!

Upperdate - Friday 1 April 2011, 1:28 pm: Shazam! You've managed to double the city since yesterday afternoon. We're now up to $84.38, which is pretty impressive, considering it's soley from clicking ads. At this rate, we'll probably break a hundred dollars over the weekend, depending on traffic. Some of you have also left comments saying that you've made donations on your own. Turns out that you're good peeps.