I've spent the last four decades thinking that Pepsi tasted like an odd combination of cat piss and cancer, and it's a big part of why I stay out of Quebec. But I'm suddenly revisting my views on that. I'm not sure why. Look, if Sofia Vergara was selling rusty syringes from Haiti, I'd buy three. Then I'd take a bunch of hostages and not release them until the cops promised to buy one for every man, woman and child in the city.
This is because I usually do whatever a girl with a huge tits and a cute accent tells me to. And you know what? I'm a better citizen because of it. All John Hinckley, Jr. wanted to do was impress a flat-chested lesbian at Yale, and look how he wound up.
I really think the world be a better place if everybody was more like me. Oh, and if more girls had huge tits and cute accents.
Picture lustily lifted from What Would Tyler Durden Do
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