I Think I've Figured Charlie Sheen Out

- "The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some
kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism
industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men
die like dogs, for no good reason."

- "In a nation run by swine, all
pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts
together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely."

- "I was also drunk, crazy and heavily armed at all times. People
trembled and cursed when I came into a public room and started screaming in
German."

- "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to
anyone, but they've always worked for me."

For years I've loved and admired the work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. When I first started blogging in 2003, I tried writing primarily in that style but quickly learned that I'm not an especially gifted wordsmith. Granted, I still write that way from time to time, but only about sex, porn stars and Lindsay Lohan. This is because Thompson virtually never wrote about sex. His were amongst the most asexual musings in recent popular culture and I think the juxtaposition of that style on the subject is hilarious. It was an inside joke that only I understood and appreciated.

As Charlie Sheen's upward spiral into madness - which I refer to as "upward" because it has finally made him interesting - has continued, I began to notice something. His vocabulary and the cadence of his speech sounded increasingly familiar. Then when I saw the fourth installment of Sheen's Korner, everything came together for me like a thunder strike.

Charlie's turning into Hunter. Compare and contrast.

Granted, there are mild differences. Hunter rarely spoke in the same frenzied tone as he wrote. He also rarely met the press in the grips of a cocaine, mescaline and Wild Turkey frenzy. But Charlie can hardly be expected to understand these things, can he?

It's also unknown whether Sheen the Younger grasps that the good Doctor's wild ride didn't reach an especially pleasant destination, ending as it did looking down the wrong end of high-powered firearm in his heavily fortified Aspen compound. But these things are for Charlie and his Tiger Blood to find out on his own.

Soon football season will once again be over. But it's nice to know where the literary inspiration is coming from.