Bree Olson and the Meaning of Life

I'm not a man who's afraid to admit it when it I'm wrong. You might not have noticed that for the simple reason that I'm not wrong very often. It's really quite incredible actually.

Having said that, I'm not always the model of intellectual certitude that you might believe me to be. For example, I spent a quarter century believing that Charlie Sheen was an irredeemable fucking schmuck. A man wholly without merit and more worthy of scorn that a two million dollar a week paycheck. I was of the opinion that we all would be better as a species if Sheen was set alight.

And I was wrong, as the last several months clearly demonstrate. It turns out that Charlie might not only be the greatest man alive, but the greatest man to have ever walked among us. If Mr. Sheen isn't actually the Second Coming of Christ, then he's something even better.

Like Jesus, Charlie is beset with enemies and the possibility of betrayal is never far away, mostly in the person of Chuck Lorre, or as Sheen prefers to call him, Haim Levine. Some people feel that a man can't snort his own weight in blow and still be a productive citizen. Jesus was comforted by a whore and Charlie Sheen seemingly surrounds himself with a Gaddafi-like army of porno sluts. Obviously, Charlie is better than Christ. If you're still inclined to argue with me, I suggest that you read your fucking bible. Did Jesus ever cure alcoholism with his mind?

As I've noted before, there is no greater porn slut than Bree Olson. Bree is what all women should be: superhumanly beautiful, all natural, and open to having all three of her most precious inputs violated. It should surprise no one that she has accompanied Charlie, his most recent ex-wife and current girlfriend on a trip to Fantasy Island this week.

Ms. Olson has taken time out from her vacation in paradise to use Twitter to further demonstrate her natural superiority to the rest of humanity.

What's more painful than anal sex? Not getting to have any anal sex. Would someone come fuck me in the ass please?

Look, I know that she isn't a doctor or anything, but Bree Olson is right! Not getting to have any anal sex is obviously more painful than anal sex. All the best women know that. Most impressively, she's polite! She said "please" and everything.