Let's All Join Hands And Vote For Raymi Again!

You know what the single biggest problem with the blogosphere is, other than not everyone is me? The fact that there are innumerable beautiful women blogging and almost none of them get naked, which means I have to seduce them.

Oh, I've done it time and time again. But it's hard work, given that I'm ugly, broke and not that bright. I'm also getting old - old in body, spirit and mind. I'm just really lucky that I have a massive wang and can do push-ups with my tongue. Otherwise, I don't know what I'd do.

Well, the lovely and talented Raymi the Minx - perhaps the greatest and most famous of Toronto's bloggers - gets naked without even being asked (Link super-NSFW). It's a Christ-like sacrifice she makes every day to make our lives just a little bit better. I still can't believe that no one has founded a church devoted to her worship yet. I'd do it, but I'm crippled by laziness and compulsive masturbation.

When last I brought Raymi to your attention, I asked you all to vote for her in a local blogger poll. You did, and she left a comment telling me that I'm awesome, which is incredibly observant. Not only do I like that in a girl, it makes my testicles rattle like maracas, just like the ones Jerome Green played on those great old Bo Diddley records. And, as any girl will tell you, there's nothing sexier in a man that that.

Anyhow, Raymi's vying to win the People's Choice award in the Canadian Weblog Awards - the very people who named me only the second funniest Canadian blogger two years ago. Even though she's kicking ass mightily, she'd like you to vote for her and so would I.

The last time I helped out, she said I was awesome. But that was only a local poll, and this one's national. So I figure if I bring a lot of votes her way, she'll let me sew my face between her beautiful buttocks (also NSFW). After all, Christmas is coming and I've been nice this year.

Just don't tell my girlfriend, okay? She hits me sometimes.


Update: Welcome Raymi readers! There sure are a lot of you, aren't there? Hopefully you're all just as hot.