Don't get me wrong, it's a very earnest message but it's also a compelling argument that the great P.J O'Rourke was right when he said that "Earnestness is stupidity sent to college."
As hilarious as I think that this is, I'm also of the opinion that it's also somewhat dangerous in so far as it tends to trivialize something as serious as rape. In all seriousness, if a man is of university age and still a monster, I'm not comlpetely convinced that a lecture from a tenured professor is going to do a whole lot to change that.
I'm not going to discount entirely the possibility that I'm just a hyper-conservative whackjob and genetically wrong about everything, but it seems to me that the socialization process regarding sexual assault should start a lot earlier than when you're eligible for our first federal student loan. Again, I could be way off about this. I just don't think I am.
Look, I get that statements like this make everybody feel good, but I reckon that it's well past time that we recognize that things that make you feel good are often pretty stupid. Take cocaine as just one example. It makes you feel awesome, but it's a really poorly considered lifestyle choice unless, of course, you're me. Always remember that these are professional tricks, performed by a professional and not intended for home use.
The basic premise of this message is silly for practical reasons, as well. For those of you who spent too much time in school, I think it's necessary to point out that feminism is a philosophy. It might well be that it is among the finest philosophies ever devised, but that misses an essential point. So far as I'm aware, no philosophy is going to overwhelm a violent oaf with a hard cock that outweighs you by as much as 80 pounds. I have yet to see that in a mixed martial arts class. There comes a point when things like reason are pretty much useless.
Here's something else you might not know. Carrying around the collected works of Satre never prevented anyone from being shot to death, either. Just sayin'.
Having said that, a philosophy will make you feel better about yourself after you've already been victimized. I get that. Maybe I'm an oddball, but I'd emphasize preventing your victimization in the first place. I know, crazy, right?
I understand that you have the right to get drunk and pass out in the dorm room of some horny bastard that you barely know at 3 am, but that right doesn't necessarily immunize you from the consequences of your exercise of said right. You have the right to be free from rape, but you also have the right to vote. The only problem is that less than half the population chooses to exercise it.
Statistics show that nearly three out of four women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. However, attacks by a stranger are relatively rare, which is why they keep winding up in the newspaper. Assaults are always unforgivable and unjustified and, in some cases, unavoidable.
My point is that they're not always unavoidable. The odds are that you will be raped, and it'll be by someone you know. Rape is also, in most circumstances, a crime of opportunity. Deny the victimizer the opportunity and your chances of being a victim decrease dramatically. That's not always true, but it's true enough of the time that it should really be considered.
Just as the aforementioned Mr. O'Rourke implied, earnestness often carries the day, particularly in politically correct institutions such as universities. That being the case, I can pretty much guarantee you that common sense is going to go right out the fucking window and "Don't rape" is going to taught in college.
It therefore stands to reason that there's going to be a test of some kind. I can't be the only one who really looks forward to the questions on it, can I?
Please complete the following sentence. "It's right to force yourself sexually on a woman after a date .."
a) Never
b) Always
c) When dinner and the movie cost over $200.
Is that going to prevent a single act of sexual violence? Probably not. But it will make any number of dumb people feel better.
And if you ever wondered why I cheer the asteroid squashing the Aerosmith guy's kid in the great Bruce Willis movie that is life, now you know.
I'd be remiss if I didn't leave you good folks without a life lesson from the master of common sense, Adan Carolla.
But what about girls who aren't of college age yet? Doesn't popular culture have a message for them?
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