Don't get me wrong, I feel badly for the few artists that are any good, but the ghoulish pricks on the business side have been ripping everybody off for generations now - including the artists - and deserve every molecule of suffering that they're enduring today. There are few things in life that convince me that things like justice aren't just old wives tales, but this is one of them.
Because it's such an important part of an industry that I've despised for years, I have a complicated relationship with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In large part this is because I distrust anyone that use the "and" instead of the more fitting "n'" in the phrase "rock n' roll." This is a rebellious music created by semi-literate musicians, and that spirit is to be respected. Anyone who thinks that they're clever is probably in Rush, and that's something that should be avoided at all costs.
The Hall of Fame was also founded and is currently run by the establishment, and the proper spirit of the music (at least when it's any good at all) is to rail against establishments. In the good old days, when the record company insisted on the final single under their contract, the Rolling Stones delivered the unreleasable "Cocksucker Blues" and told Decca to go fuck themselves. Today artists show up at these circle jerks in black tie.
On the other hand, the friggin' Hall of Fame sometimes recognizes utter geniuses that don't move a lot of product. Whenever I find myself getting overly pissy, I remind myself that Leonard Cohen and Tom Waits are there, and Randy Newman is in the new class of inductees.
So, for that matter, is Public Enemy. Fight the Power, indeed!
I can't underscore how important PE is. When rap was little more than LL Cool J fluff, Public Enemy and the Beastie Boys turned it into art. Before Ice Cube started thinking he was a latter-day Eddie Murphy, so did NWA.
The construction of Public Enemy leads to some interesting questions, though. There were only three guys that did anything in the group, but at any given time, there about thirty on stage. Are the S1W's being inducted, too? I'm not aware of another militia ever having been at the ceremony, so that would be pretty cool! How about Professor Griff? Look, I get that every group is different. Some bands have a really bitchin' guitarist that plays a jerk-off thirty-five minute "tribute to the cosmos" solo, or a drummer who writes entire fucking albums about Ayn Rand. Others have a Minister of Information that gives anti-Semitic interviews to the Washington Times.
Some guys noodle around on a Les Paul and others solo about how "Jews are responsible for the majority of the wickedness in the world." Vive la différence! If the Hall has a sense of humor, they should get Mel Gibson to formally induct them. And I can't think of anything that will rattle more cages than an acceptance speech that includes the etymology of the word "jewelry," how about you?
But Public Enemy's heyday was before Kurt Cobain killed himself, when music didn't suck so horribly.
Tonight things promise to get even worse.
As I've said many times, Nirvana was the last truly important band and Nevermind may be the most important album of all. After Sgt. Pepper, the Dave Clark Five still had a job. They just sold fewer records and played smaller rooms. But have you heard from Winger since 1991? How about Warrant? Nevermind was the meteor that destroyed the dinosaurs forever. Yes, you might find some of the bones on the amphitheatre circuit, but they hardly threaten to eat you alive.
At the 12-12-12 concert for Hurricane Sandy relief, the guys who aren't Cobain are going to ruin that legacy in the humiliatingly comic way ever.
SIR Paul McCartney will front a Nirvana reunion tonight — replacing late singer Kurt Cobain.
The sensational gig will see the surviving members of the grunge band together for the first time in 20 years.
And former Beatle Sir Paul will sing with them as they play a new song at a star-filled charity concert in New York.
The longer Paul McCartney lives, the more convinced I am that the conspiracy theory was true. McCartney actually was killed in a car accident in 1966. What has only recently become evident is that the Beatles replaced him with Paul McCartney's mom.
Not only does that explain what appears to be a complete absence of testosterone in McCartney, it also explains almost everything he's done since Revolver.
So there you have it. Paul McCartney's mom is joining Nirvana. Live! Tonight! Sold Out!
This I have to see, if only because I've never witnessed an abortion performed right in front of me before.
Maybe it's just me, but it would have been better if the guys who aren't Cobain got Professor Griff instead.
If you want to watch the show, or just give a few bucks, details are here.
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