I've hated music for years now, and I hate Christmas music most of all. There's just no message in it that speaks to me on a level I can relate to, which is usually anger and sexual frustration. Besides, I've worked something like 11 out of the last 16 Christmases, so my giant cock and I have usually been alone over the holidays. And you know what? I'm okay with that, because I'm my type.
Well, all of that changed about five minutes ago, when I discovered Majela ZeZe Diamond and her Christmas message of hope. It's so basic, yet so fundamental to the higher spiritual aspirations of each of us. "Father Christmas Fucked My Pussy" changed me, and I'm pretty sure that it'll change you, too. Unless you're Mel Gibson or something. Ms. Diamond knows the real meaning of Christmas, and if you're lucky, you will, too. It's all about chanting the word "vagina" over and over again until you're dizzy.
Thankfully, I can schedule posts so that they appear after most of you have left your offices. Odds are that your boss doesn't appreciate the majesty of Majela or pussy. And some of you are real fucking daredevils about reading this blog at work. So I took the choice out of your hands, just like all the best Christians do.
Besides, you don't want to be wandering around your office singing "Father Christmas, fuck my pussy/ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck my pussy" to yourself like the hymn it was meant to be, do you? That's the kind of thing you want to save for the family!
Video ruthlessly stolen from DListed
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