Those of you who have been long-term readers might remember that I couldn't have been more supportive of McCain for the better part of a decade. I wanted him to be the Republican nominee - and president - in the summer of '07, when everybody else was writing his obituary. For years, the only living politician I held in higher esteem than John McCain was President George H.W. Bush.
One of the reasons that I revered him was for his strength of character. But that strength seems to have left him forever. I understood that he had to placate the fuckhead Republican base during the '08 primaries. Really, I did. But their distrust of him meant that he couldn't tack to the centre during the general, which - as Mitt Romney is soon going to find out - is lethal in politics.
The reasons for McCain's are many for they are legion. But it's everything that happened after election day that made him a fallen hero.
Not quite a month after losing a very winnable election, Senator McCain announced that he would be running for reelection to the Senate. Republicans being Republicans, this took a strange and deeply disheartening turn.
Barack Obama came within 8 points of beating McCain in his home state, which is something that people have tended to forget. The mass GOP freak-out over the McCain-Kennedy immigration reform bill - which President Bush himself sponsored - cost them heavily amoung Hispanics. As you might have noticed, there are all kinds of Hispanics in Arizona, what with having been formerly part of Mexico, and all.
But Tea Party fever had overtaken both America and common sense. And John McCain was being challenged by a disc jockey shithead who had once been voted among the very sleaziest folks to have ever darken the corridors of Congress. So McCain did the expedient thing. Specifically, he shot a commercial with a closet-case of a sheriff with an illegal immigrant lover and whose jurisdiction was a hundred miles from the border. McCain implored Sheriff Fabulous to "complete the danged fence", as if local sheriffs had anything to do with international borders.
And that's where he lost me forever. If McCain was so fucking a-scared of an electoral prison-punk like J.D Hayworth, there's absolutely no reason to believe that he'd be able to stand up to an actual serious adversary, like Vladimir Putin. When I saw John McCain simper like a little fucking girl before a half-witted scumbag like Hayworth, I knew that the right guy probably won two years earlier. The man who was tortured by the animalistic Vietnamese and still told them to go fuck themselves died a long time ago. In his stead stands exactly the kind of guy that would endorse Mitt Romney. The Tea Party crowd is always going to loathe McCain, but in sucking up to them, he lost the respect of everyone else.
On the other hand, I'm endlessly fascinated with the women in his life. His wife Cindy, remains one of the hottest political spouses in all of democracy (although no democratic politician will have a wife as smoking hot as Queen Rania of Jordan or Princess Dalal bint Saud bin Abdul Aziz of Saudi Arabia. Never let it be said that being a despot doesn't have some advantages.)
Firstly, I think that she's generally right about the state of Republican politics. It astounds me that so many of those retards think that they can continue winning national elections with a diminishing share of Hispanics, homos and broads. It's as if those shitheads don't know anything about demographics and seriously believe that old white men are going to be a plurality of the vote forever.
A lot of "conservatives" like to berate Meghan for not being the most articulate girl in the world, but these are usually the very same people who idolize Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, two chicks that can't let three sentences pass their pretty little cocksuckers without something clinically insane spilling out. It makes me almost not to want to fuck them. Almost.
But Meghan has enormous, beautiful tits, is very young, and agrees with almost everything I've been saying since she was in high school. And that impresses me to no end. As a matter of fact, I'd suggest that all the girls out there have giant tits and agree with everything I say. And for Christ's sake, stop being over forty and spouting crazy shit every time you're on camera, okay? It's annoying and a lesser man than I probably couldn't keep his cock hard through it. Not everyone's as superhuman as I am, y'know?
Anyhow, here's Meghan talking about my favorite subject: Her funbags.
Tittygate, as I like to call it was huge deal on the internet, and the conservative blogosphere, in particular. This is largely because the conservative blogosphere is almost entirely a humourless, sexless place that wouldn't know Joy if it slowly nibbled on the head of it's cock while looking up at it with fawn-like eyes and calling it "Daddy." This is why we need Wonder Woman to resume blogging soonest!
Social conservatives have caught up with the sexual revolution, but only to the point where they're Gloria Steinem; tsk-tsking every hot piece of ass or guy that likes to put his almost mystically big wonderputz into the above. This is why they're arguing nonsensical horseshit, like contraception, which the rest of the fucking country settled in 1965. They're worse than assholes, they're killjoys. And who in the fuck wants to vote for that when the the economy sucks and their mortage is underwater?
Anyone that wants to send Meghan McCain to thereapy for having giant jugs and a nice big ass is out of their fucking minds. And they all tend to be Republican bloggers that tend to be mortally afraid of a tight young vagina.
Which, I guess, brings me to Sarah Palin, who tends to bring comfort to these sexless retards. As you might have heard, HBO ran their adaptation of Game Change this weekend. I read the book, and thought that the Republican outrage to the alleged Palin-bashing in it was hilarious. Anyone who actually took the time to read it themselves would know that John Heilemann and Mark Halperin really portrayed John Edwards as History's Greatest Monster. Moreover, most of the intial news accounts of the book focused on that savage saga.
All things being equal, it would've been a much better movie if it was about Edwards. It would've been a fantastic comedy. "I have a mistress while I'm running for president. Okay, now I'm losing and my mistress is knocked up. Can I be someone's vice-president? Shit, now the bastard girl is born. Attorney General?"
Something tells me that if that was the movie, Republicans wouldn't be pissing and moaning about Hollywood Jews so much. Instead, it's about Sarah Palin being an emotionally retarded half-wit, so the moron outrage machine gets cranked up once again.
The most interesting response to Game Change happened to be Palin's own. She made a big show of going on Fox News and declaring that movie was a non-issue that she intended to ignore. Then this came from her political action committee, which she fully controls and even bears her name;
So, during the time that her PAC ad refuting the movie had to be in production, Palin was pretending that she didn't care about the movie. Which makes her a liar, an idiot. a figurehead for her own PAC, or all three; thereby reinforcing the narrative of the movie.
Shit, if HBO really wanted to fuck Sarah Palin over, they would've adapted her own first book "Nothing Is My Fault Ever! Tales of How Nicole Wallace is a Bitch!" You might know it as Going Rogue. If you're a "personal responsibility conservative", which I am. Going Rogue is far more damaging to the cause than Game Change could ever be.
Speaking of Nicole Wallace, she was on This Week with George Stehoanopolousexpalidocious yeasterday, and in it, I saw one of the most remarkable fucking exchanges ever!
STEPHANOPOULOS: Well, the Palin campaign didn't like it. How true to life?Waitafuckingminute! Really? Mary Matalin - who I generally like - gets to say that a movie is "fictional" even though one of the people sitting across the goddamned table from her just said that it was "true enough to make me squirm."?
WALLACE: Well, true enough to make me squirm. But, you know, look, this isn't a movie about campaign staff, and this isn't even really a movie about McCain and Palin. This is a movie about the vast gray area in which 99 percent of our politics actually takes place. And I think that what gets boiled down or sometimes the fights or the instant analysis or the black and white, who's up and who's down.
But the truth is -- and I think everyone around this table has had some experience in their political careers -- where you're just feeling your way through a very gray area and you're doing your best. And this campaign was certainly one of those instances for me.
STEPHANOPOULOS: No question. And, you know, there has been a bit of a backlash, Mary, but there are a lot of points in that movie that's very sympathetic to Sarah Palin.
MATALIN: Mark Halperin, who's the co-author of the book, but -- came down to teach James' class in Tulane and said it was not in total, but large sympathetic. The movie is not that. A lifelong Democrat called me and said "Game Change" is a channel change for me. So it's not RJ Cutler, Pennebaker, "The War Room" or "A Perfect Candidate." It's just a fictional movie. And to that end, it's meaningless, other than I like your hair in the movie, Nicolle.
Nicole Wallace isn't the only real-life being played off as fictional in the Republican bubble machine, so is Steve Schmidt, who was McCain's chief strategist and instrumental in picking Palin in the first fucking place.
And then there's this.
“I think it was very accurate,” Schmidt said Monday on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.” “For all of us in the campaign, it really rang true. It gave you a little bit of PTSD at times. It did for me. But, look, I think it’s a story of when cynicism and idealism collide. When you have to do things necessary to win, to try to get in office to do the great things you want to do for the country and I think it showed a process of vetting that was debilitated by secrecy, that was compartmentalized, that failed, that led to a result that was reckless for the country.”Okay, given the disparity of views here, it's important to consider who would have a motive to lie.
(...)
“I think the notion of Sarah Palin being President of the United States is something that frightens me, frankly. And I played a part in that. And played a part in that because we were fueled by ambition to win.”
I think that everyone can agree that Sarah Palin has a motive to resist being portrayed as a borderline personality and possible moron. And I don't think that John McCain would like to be remembered as the 72-year-old cancer net that played chicken with the country.
But if Steve Schmidt and Nicole Wallace are telling the truth, they're destroying their careers in politics. And since neither of them were hired by big-time campaigns or the White House because of their stupidity, it's safe to assume that they know that. Smart people with an interest in a future career would lie, wouldn't they?
And please don't tell me they did it for the money. The millions that both of them would make in future campaigns far exceeds the few hundred grand (at best) that they would make as consultants on an HBO movie.
Of course, I don't expect any of that to puncture the Republican fantasy bubble that they so happily live in. But I do expect that it's what's going to ruin them. Ultimately, a conservatism that isn't grounded in reality isn't conservatism at all.
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