Republican Bloggers Are Friggin' Idiots

Nothing has ever been as liberating as disassociating myself from the Republican - Canadian Conservative Party blogosphere. I was never a part of it necessarily, but in my early days of blogging, I drew some fans from that quarter. When I first started seven years ago, I got about twice as many hits as I do today, mostly because I said that George W. Bush would win reelection fairly easily.

Never mind that I repeatedly said that he didn't deserve to, I just said that would. All through the '04 election cycle, I wrote posts describing Bush as a half-witted communist whose spending would turn America into a banana republic. Mine was an awfully lonely voice back then, but most Republican bloggers conveniently overlooked that and focused on my pummelling of John Kerry.

But when I started speaking out on things like Terri Schiavo, the outing of Valerie Plame, the evils of warrantless wiretapping, and the fact that Bill Clinton was more fiscally conservative than the Republicans of '01-08, my blogging existence got a lot lonelier still. Not that I cared all that much. It was fairly clear by then that the people who liked me at the time were dishonest partisan assholes who didn't care a whole lot how the country was governed, so long as their team was governing it. And that's doubly true of Canada's "Blogging Tories."

I supported John McCain, even as he ran to the retard right in an effort to placate people like Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, who felt that Hillary Clinton would be preferable as president. Well, they got neither, and they largely have no one to blame for it but themselves. By undermining McCain when he had the three months of the continuing Obama-Hillary battle to move to the center, like Republican nominees always have, they are almost entirely responsible for the Obama presidency. And they deserve every second of it. I hope it hurts, too.

Some of you might have noticed that I haven't devoted all that much time to attacking President Obama. There are some pretty good reasons for that.

Firstly, unlike most dishonest assholes, I really never expected a liberal Democrat to govern as a conservative supply-sider, and anyone who did is either stupid or lying. Under no circumstances did I expect "Reagan's Third Term" from Obama.

Secondly, I was shocked at just how much continuity there was between Bush and Obama. This might actually be "Bush's Third Term" on any number of issues, both foreign and domestic. I don't remember that many so-called conservatives decrying those policies when their guy was implementing them. Robert Gibbs' protests aside, liberals are right to be pissed at Barack. If I were a liberal, I'd be furious at him.

Third, I don't see how anyone could be all that surprised by programs like universal health care, since the Democrats have actually campaigned on the issue since about 1936. What does shock me is that so much of ObamaCare was clearly lifted from the Republican plans of 1974 and '94, and that it was such a huge wealth transfer from the taxpayer to private insurance companies, as opposed to the government.

Barack Obama has indeed presided over the largest wealth transfer in American history. Idiot bloggers just refuse to recognize that that transfer was from the middle class to the filthy fucking rich. Show me an instance where that isn't true, and I'll show you where you haven't been paying attention.

Say what you will about me and this blog, but I'm honest and intellectually consistent in ways that most "conservative" bloggers aren't. My rap isn't radically different than it was when Bush was running for reelection, and the archives are there to prove it.

But the revisionist history on the alleged right drives me to fucking distraction, and on more than just the history of the Bush years. I have a girlfriend who was honestly shocked when I told her that not one successful espionage prosecution resulted from Joseph McCarthy's investigations. She didn't know that Alger Hiss was exposed by Richard Nixon before McCarthy was a national figure, mostly because liars like Ann Coulter and shitheel bloggers have repeatedly said otherwise.

Most Republican bloggers won't tell you, for example, that the last Republican to balance a budget was Dwight Eisenhower. They won't tell you that the GOP opposed the 1961-'63 and 1975 efforts to cut taxes. They also won't tell you that George H.W Bush presided over the succcessful conclusion of the Cold War, rather than Ronald Reagan. If those bloggers themselves aren't idiots, they count on you being one.

Dishonest or stupid. Take your pick. I'm comfortable with labelling them either way.

That, in a roundabout way, brings me to the truly nauseating poll of dumb bloggers conducted by John Hawkins' RightWingNews (which is every bit as reliable as it's title suggests) of the 25 Worst Figures in American History.

If you're functionally retarded, you'll love both the list and Mr. Hawkins. If, however, you know anything about anything, you'll just be deeply confused.

Here's Hawkins' list.

23) Saul Alinsky (7)
23) Bill Clinton (7)
23) Hillary Clinton (7)
19) Michael Moore (7)
19) George Soros (8)
19) Alger Hiss (8)
19) Al Sharpton (8)
13) Al Gore (9)
13) Noam Chomsky (9)
13) Richard Nixon (9)
13) Jane Fonda (9)
13) Harry Reid (9)
13) Nancy Pelosi (9)
11) John Wilkes Booth (10)
11) Margaret Sanger (10)
9) Aldrich Ames (11)
9) Timothy McVeigh (11)
7) Ted Kennedy (14)
7) Lyndon Johnson (14)
5) Benedict Arnold (17)
5) Woodrow Wilson (17)
4) The Rosenbergs (19)
3) Franklin Delano Roosevelt (21)
2) Barack Obama (23)
1) Jimmy Carter (25)

Holy shit, that's a whole lot of stupid jammed into a very small bag! Does any serious adult believe that John Wilkes Booth, Aldrich Ames, Timothy McVeigh and Benedict Arnold were better for America than Jimmy Carter?

I guess a lot depends on whether you judge Carter as a president or an ex-president. Out of office, Carter has been nothing less than swine. But as president, he and Bill Clinton were about as consequential as the long string of nobodies that held the office between Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.

Woodrow Wilson was guilty of little more than writing George W. Bush's Second Inaugural for him, but Bush is somehow not on the list. Nixon, if you look beyond Watergate, was perhaps the best foreign policy president of the Twentieth Century. And if you focus entirely on Watergate, why isn't Warren Harding there?

Saul Alinsky wrote a book that Glenn Beck made famous about a year ago. Oh, and he died in 1972, which makes him a rather unlikely candidate to ruin the republic.

I'm not a big fan of Michael Moore, George Soros, Al Sharpton, Noam Chomsky, Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid; but something tells me that none of them were the threat that Jefferson fucking Davis was, but he's not on the list. Aaron Burr and John C. Breckinridge were vice-presidents that were guilty of treason, aren't there, either.

If nothing else, you could at least masturbate to Jane Fonda's workout videos, but she beat out Lee Harvey Oswald.

If you compiled a list of John Hawkins and every fuckhead blogger who contributed to this list, you'd probably find a more representative sample of everything that wrong with America. They aren't evil, they're just dumb beyond words.

Stupid is the new obese. I just put it on the Internet, so it must be true. This is what happens when people stop reading books and go to blogs like RightWingNews instead.